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Why My Child Deserves a Spot In Your Prep School

Or My Book is as Good the Next Guy's Book

Please submit a query letter no longer than one double-spaced page with one inch margins all the way around.

What? One page? Are you kidding? How am I supposed to tell you how super my book is if you'll only give me one page to cram in a short pitch, my (okay, this part is pretty meager) awards and some details about myself?

I get it. Editors and agents are busy people. They don't have all day to listen to me talk myself up. I mean, what's there to say anyhow? I went to college, which isn't really relative to my fiction writing since I've pretty much forgotten everything I learned about journalism anyway.

That said, I think instead of a measly page, I should have 1-2 pages worth of how hard it was to first write the book, which actually wasn't as hard as you'd think, followed up by 3-5 pages of the grueling drudgery of editing which is that hard. Then another couple of pages on how I worked really hard at the research involved and then some letters of reference from my critique partners and how much they loved it. In short, not only am I sending a query letter, a synopsis, and a sample chapter, but you're also getting a nice summary of the metaphorical blood, sweat and tears involved. This ain't just a book, you lovely editors/agents, it's a dream brought to life by my achy hands and now-squishy brain.

Sometimes I think I'm too involved with the project. ;)