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My Current Obsession With Hats

I think I felt the need to don hats after the Royal Wedding. I saw how smashing the English looked in hats and I said, "Hey, I can do that." Only in sort of a redneck-ish way. Sporting goods stores are the perfect place to try on hats. Unless you happen to be best friends with a milliner. Which, I'm not, so sporting goods stores it is!

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

Yep, that hat completely screams "Gilligan's Island!" I feel more tropical already. If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.... Um, yeah. Wrong song. But if you have half a brain, you'll keep reading.

Yes, it would kill me to smile. Because I won't be smiling while I'm riding the range and prodding little doggies. Or something. This was a pretty cool felt hat, but someone hadn't been kind to the wire brim. It was bent and out of shape. Retail price: $34.95. Price is should've been after someone messed with the brim: Free. Personally, I want to be the one to mess up the brim. You know, on those hair-raising rides when the horse decides heading through the trees will be fun. Hee hee, let's see how fast she bails! What? You've never heard a horse say that? You're missing out. We're burnin' daylight....

I'm thinking this is the perfect vacation hat. And I could use some lipstick, but anyway. Is is a sombrero? Is it a goat herder hat? Is it something in between? I don't know. I'm not even certain it would make  good sun shade because it's pretty upturned. But if you wanted to put fruit in it, you'd have one heck of a good basket. Makes me want to break out into a stirring rendition of 'Seven Spanish Angels'. Get my classical guitar, Pablo.

Here's a floppy bucket hat, perfect for sticking fishing lures in when you're not using them. I know. I've seen people do that. Also, not sure it's going to do much in the way of sun protection except right on top of your head. Floppy brim doesn't really make sense. I remember when I was in high school, bucket hats were all the rage among track athletes. I ran track, but I never had a bucket hat. I didn't get it. I still don't get it.

And now I bring you the masterpiece of the day: My favorite, well it's not a hat, but face covering, um, creation let's say. Yes, I'm aware it looks like a chicken face. The cardboard flap on top looks like a cock's comb. This lovely item also comes in white for that added chicken look. Perfect for hunting, Halloween or bank robbing. Your choice. Probably wouldn't do to use it for all three. Good thing it's not blue, or you'd probably get mistaken for a turkey out in the woods. Seriously, what is with the nose part?


  1. LOL, I love the chicken hat!!! I NEED that hat--face mask!!!

  2. It would look great with a feather boa!


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