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Showing posts from August, 2011

I Missed the Ship to Historical Romanceville

Let me set the scene for you:

There's fog. Lots of fog rolling off the ocean. The only light spills from a gas-fueled street lamp on a pier. I'm standing there, hand shielding my eyes as I stare into the gloom, traveling valise at my Steeple Victorian boots in antique saddle, my side pinching from the stitch caused by my constraining corset. The wind is blowing, which does nothing to relieve the pea-soup thick fog, catching my skirt and blowing the lace jabot into my face.
"Wait!" I call, waving a hand-embroidered hankie at the dim lights of the steam ship sailing off to Historical Romanceville. "Oh my stars and garters!" I hiss in frustration, shaking my head. And my steamer trunk was on there too!
Gentlemen in bowler hats and silk three-piece suits tuck their wives' elbows closer and hurry around me. My hair, so neatly secured in an elegant roll earlier, is starting to collapse thanks to the dampness in the air. Well. The ship's sailed and that&#…

Stuff I Find While I'm Walking 4 - The Real Estate Edition

Huzzah! Another Monday has pulled us into its fold. What can that possible mean? That's it's time for Stuff I Find While I'm Walking. Today I have a special treat for you, my preciouses. That's not a word. So what?

I apologize in advance for the quality of the photos this week. It must've been too dark for my little ol' camera to take good photos. But fear not, you shall not have to grope your way blindly through this blog. On this fantabulous Monday afternoon I bring you SIFWIW the Real Estate Edition. What I did was carry a big stick and poke it into holes to see if I could discover what lived in said holes. Okay, actually I only poked it in one hole and nothing came out, which is probably a good thing. I can see me and Restless getting tangled up and snake bit if something had come out of a hole.

You'll never guess what lived in this. I bet you can guess what's supposed to live in it. Instead, it contained, of all things, not chirpy little birds, but…

The Friday Five

Everyone else is doing it, I think I'll jump on the wagon.

Aren't you in for a treat? Today I'll tell you a list of five things (do lists seem gimicky to you? I'm trying not to let it drive me crazy) that randomly popped into my brain. For the record, although I have no idea if this is true, I once learned that the human brain can think about seven things at once.

Moving on because your day isn't random enough without a couple of thoughts from me.

#1) Justin Beiber has perfume for women (and I wouldn't be caught dead buying it, much less sniffing it). I think I shall invent cologne for men. I will call it Splurge. It's motto will be 'because she's worth it'. Never mind that that's probably some other product's motto. That implies that he is splurging on cologne so he can smell nice for her, ergo doing them both a favor. Brilliant, no? Great, now someone is going to steal my idea.

#2) Why do they put half dust jackets on books? Too cheap …

Day in the Life of a Muse

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you an artist's *cough, cough* rendition of my muse. It was entirely too good to keep to my FB account.

He's little bit like Hemingway in that he likes to drink and fish. Other than that, eh, not much resemblance. But he's hell on the internal menace known as Evil Editor, the voice of doubt that tells me I'm not a good writer.

I mean, look, that cow is wearing white shoes with a red dress. What was she thinking? And Lief shaved for the occassion. All the better to sneak up on evil.

After a long day, our boy Lief retires to his island home to fish and think of stories to tell me. Way to go, Lief.

Stuff I Find While I'm Walking Episode 3

It's that time again! I know you're super jazzed, especially because it's Monday morning! Pictures, pictures, pictures! Okay, enough chanting.

Saturday husband and I ordered pizza and ate at Wilson's Creek National Battlefield. We kept hearing this weird noise that sounded like gun fire and/or someone banging on a drum. We never figured out what it was. It was definitely something, but we don't know what. Here's our first photo.

This cannon sits in a spot known as Siegel's Final Position, where Col. Franz Siegel of the 3rd Missouri Infantry got whipped because he thought the troops coming his way were Union. Um, let's just say they weren't. His defeat helped seal the win for the Confederates in the first battle of the Civil War across the Mississippi.

The trail at WC marches up Old Wire Road, the main road from Arkansas to Springfield, Missouri way back when. Husband and I decided to jaunt along this road to see what this weird thing at the top of t…

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Unfounded accusations on the other hand, can scar you for life, but provide excellent blogging material.

Today's post is a story about something that happened to me in high school. HS was not my most favorite time ever. Think back to the late nineties and early double aughts. Fashion had reached new levels of ick, cars were just starting to get small and sleek again, and I was still wearing straight-leg jeans and sporting super-long hair with dorky bangs. Let's add some accusations about plagiarism to it.

The year: 2000
The place: High school English class
The players: Mr. S the English teacher and me

Cue wavy lines and piano music as we head into a flashback.

Mr. S: Congratulations on getting fourth place with your short story in the Mark Twain Creative Writing Contest.

Me: Thanks.

Mr. S: I wanted to tell you something, but don't get mad.

Me: (already mad because when someone tells you not to get mad, it happens instantly) Okay.

Mr. S: One of the judges thinks you plagia…

Why I'm in Love with Priest (spoiler alert)

And it's not just because he's Badass with a capital b. Well, that's mostly it, but that's not all.

Evil vampires. Cliche. Yawn. I'm kind of interested in good vampires. Like I'm interested in good aliens. Why are these creatures always bad? That gets so tired.

Frankly, the vampires reminded me of the aliens from Doom, Karl Urban's worst movie ever er, um, stellar hero movie. They were faceless, but had ginormous teeth. And bad attitudes. Okay, so there were some cliches. And a couple plot holes. I mean, really, uber-McNasty vamps on reservations? This is the Catholic Church we're talkin' about here. I'm not Catholic and my knowledge of Catholicism is at best almost nill, but they seem like the kind of folks who would merrily wreak havoc on the remaining vampire scourge. Who wouldn't if it's the difference between ending up as a midnight snack and living a peaceful life for the first time in centuries? Oh, wait. If the vamps are rounde…

You Can't Find Stuff If You Aren't Walking

I feel really bad about not finding stuff. Last week the heat was unbelievable. That's not true. It was hot in southwestern Missouri, but not hot like in Texas. Still, I dread seeing the electric bill next month. This week, as you know, I've been dealing with the computer issue. The new computer works great, provided you don't want to use Word. So I'm not. I did manage to get some research and some editing done. Yay! The word count isn't up much. Yet.

As you may or may not know, I'm undertaking the (backbreaking) task of converting The Treasure Hunter's Lady from one country to another. It's all about the detail. I don't know if you've ever attempted to edit two novels that are almost the same at once time, but I assure you, it's kind of a pain the butt. If I could hop in my trusty time travel machine, I would go back to April 2010, wake myself from a solid sleep with a hefty shake and say, "Hey, you dope, write about America."


The Value of Writing Prompts

My lack of enthusiasm for writing this week stems from computer issues. I wanted a new computer so bad I'd do anything to get my hands on one. Oh, I got it all right. Right along with a processing error straight out of the box. Swapped that one out for another of the same model. The Word program is giving me difficulty. I can't open any of the files from my flash drive on the new computer. Sure, I can open a new document and write a new file and those work just fine, but what good is that going to do when I need the stuff saved on the flash drive? For all this difficulty, I'm expecting giant, bountiful miracles somewhere else in my life.

All this leaves me with zero desire to turn on a computer. Which for a writer, is bad. I have a ker-jillion ideas floating around in my head to write down. But sometimes I need a break from those ideas. It's nice to put away something that I think about a lot during the day and look at something different. Someday I think I might like …

She Who Wears Many Hats

People are always saying that they never have enough time in the day. It's chock full of work and meetings, kids and PTA stuff, no time for relaxation. They wear many hats, to use a cliche. Oh, cliches, what fun! Well, I don't wear a lot of hats metaphorically. I work and I write and I play with my dogs and I try to be a good wife. I spend way too much time goofing off on Facebook and staying connected with my peeps over there, God bless them. They all probably wonder if I don't have anything better to do. But I do! I wear hats! I like to shop and shopping means finding hats. So I'm posting photos of me where I'm wearing hats. Enjoy!

 This is my favorite hat picture. It's one of those old-timey sorts, a newsboy, I think they're called. I found it at K-Mart last fall. It makes me think of Model A cars and goggles and saying, "Slow down, George, we're running 10 miles per hour, are you trying to kill us?"

Joe's Crab Shack, Dec. 2010. The las…