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I Wish I Could Decide to be Decisive

I have the feeling I should be editing, not writing. It's the 1st of April, as you can plainly see from your calendars. That means it's also Day 1 of Camp NaNoWriMo. I spent yesterday evening re-reading what I've already written on The Crusader's Maiden. Then beating myself up mentally for writing a five book series. My inner historical romance writer is screaming at me, You'd be done with that now if you hadn't decided on five. You could write a historical romance.

She's kind of a cow.

I have to forgive her, because she has an idea and like all ideas, it wants to burst into fruition. Immediately. And I, of course, don't have immediate time to give it.

My argument is this: If I scrapped The Siren's Sentinel and CM, I have nothing coming out this year. That's so far out of Not-Good's league, there aren't even words for it. Plus, I like SS and I'm really enjoying the characters from CM. I could put CM on hold, write the HR, but that goes against the natural order of how I already have things planned out.

I like to second guess myself. It's my second worst habit under swearing excessively.

I do not like the idea of having two or three projects "open" and never finishing them. I do have some. You can find them in the dark, dusty corners of my flash drive. I think there are at least three. So my plan is, write like a mofo on CM, when I can't think to write for it, add to this HR. For now I'm ignoring the other project I started, even though it's promising. It oozes promise.

Okay, instead of blogging, I need to focus on the 1333 words that I need for NaNo. If only I didn't feel guilty that SS needs editing. And those other books want to be written. It's just a big ol' circle.