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Must (Not) Love Bacon

This is happening.

On Friday, I posted a link to an article on my personal FB page from the New York Daily News about *drum roll please* bacon condoms. You can read it here. In fact, you should read it. I'll wait.

Are you back? Good. Now, I like bacon just fine from a distance. I'm not much on the flavor, especially if it's hovering around precious, precious chocolate. That's just wrong. But! When I read this article, I immediately knew that this was a deal breaker, to quote Liz Lemon. I mean, bacon-flavored lubrication... I have no words.

I want you to have words though. Here's the skinny:

* Write a break-up scene where one member of the amorous couple brings home bacon condoms or tries to incorporate them in their bedroom.
* I'm interested in funny and original. Emphasis on funny. I will also allow, if you can pull it off in the word count, a happy couple reunion sans bacon. Maybe a different flavor?
* Let's cap the word count at 1500.
* Keep the tone between G and PG-13. I don't need body part descriptions. Well, boobs and butts are okay. Just no detailed descriptions. I know, I'm a kill joy.
* Open to the U.S. and Canada only.

What do you get out of the deal? How about a bacon bobble dancer? Worth a whopping $8.00. That's worth a bacon break-up story, right? Of course!

How to enter:
Send your entry of 1500 words or less to by Friday, June 28th at midnight. Put Bacon Break-up in the subject line to ensure I catch your entry.

Get cracking and good luck!


  1. This is hilarious. You are so messed up. I love you even more now :)

  2. Who's daughter are you. If I was dead I would be rolling over in my grave. ;-)

  3. LOL - this was hysterical. I found your great blog because of the WLC Blog Follows on the World Literary Cafe! Great to connect back with you. Thanks for reaching out!


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