Monday, July 15, 2013

Now It's Time For...

Stuff That Baffles Me!

That's right. It's all new. Actually, this photo is old, but I forgot the new one, so you'll have to make do until next Monday. You can do it.

And now...
Stuff That Baffles Me!

Why does this horse have an ear on its chin?

Your guess is as good as mine. This has been... Stuff That Baffles Me!


I had a massive headache yesterday and seriously thought about keeling over. Instead, I passed out in my husband's recliner for about two hours. The dog and hummingbirds were very polite while I was conked out. See, the dog has a tendency to whine or try to escape while the door is open, and the hummingbirds have territorial rights on the hummingbird feeder (which contains crack which they let the sugar water sit until it turns into alcohol* [I sh!t you not], and then they go all Gettysburg on each other). They're normally very vocal and flappy, but they obviously noticed their alcohol-providing friend was sprawled in a chair and reeked of Max Muscle Rub Roll-on Gel, which burns like fire, but helps relieve headache pain.
You don't have to go home, but
you can't stay here in an alcohol-
induced rage. Photo by cempey.

After I started feeling slightly more human and the hummingbird wars resumed full-scale annihilation, I tackled The Wrong Brother's Bride again. I don't want to say how many tos were in the MS, but let's just say I got rid of about 600. Yeah. It took forever and I kicked myself every time I came across one. There were little yellow highlights all over the pages while I searched. It was torture. I can't believe I did that. I finally got them down to a reasonable number and only lost about 2,000 words doing it, either because I cut whole sentences or rewrote them and they were smaller and because, oh, yeah, I cut out 600 tos.

I console myself with the fact that I have some other stuff to add and the story is better without them. Progress on my WIP, um, about three sentences. It was important to get the editing stuff done first. Progress on The Heckmasters, not so much. I'm getting there, okay? First I have to make sure I'm not crippled by monster headaches and speared by alcohol-fueled birds.

*According to WikiHow, you're supposed to add yeast to sugar to make alcohol. Mold grows in my feeder because they get pissy when you clean it, so I mostly just leave it alone unless it needs refilled, I kind of think the mold makes the sugar turn into alcohol faster. FYI, I'm not 100% sure it's actually alcohol, but it sure smells like it and those birds won't touch it until it's been out there for a couple of days. Probably I should start buying real hummingbird food instead of adding insane amounts of sugar to a little bit of water. If the hummingbird population in Missouri suddenly fails, it's probably because I've poisoned them all, or they went crazy and killed each other because of my concoction. One day I thought about just putting some Dr. Pepper in there instead, but I've noticed I kind of turn into a rage machine if I go off of that and then get back on it. I mean, there's no sense in really making the birds pyscho. Also, I'm speculating here, but I imagine caffeine isn't good for them. And they might not even drink it and then it would be a huge waste and I'd just have to give them more sugar/alcohol to make up for it. All the birds need AA because of me. :(

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