1) Um...uh-huh. There they are. You can fit a whole harem in there! There are more ugly pants here.
2) Curtain pants. Now you too can have the sheer privacy provided by curtains. Or not.
3) Dog pants. Can you believe these are sold out? Is that a poodle on your crotch, or...never mind. The most spectacular part...these are dude pants.
4) 'K, I don't even know what's going on here. Just put them away!
There you go, kids. As writers, we're creative, but, damn. Shouldn't someone draw the line somewhere (way) before crochet man shorts? They really should have.