Friday, September 13, 2013

The Friday Five - Ugly Sweater Season

Ugh, fall. You weather-y old codger. I don't like you. Stealing my daylight, adding a nip to the air (actually this is the first day in a while that it's not been boiling hot, but it's coming), making the leaves change and wither. You're not right, you know that? With fall comes a change in fashion. We're all looking to stay warm because Earth thinks it needs to rotate on its axis or something. I have for you today some sweaters. Personally, I hate them because they make my elbows itch. Weird, I know. So I want to see these in your fall line up, okay? And for the record, I didn't know Ugly Sweater Parties were a thing. Clearly I'm hanging with the wrong people.

1) Reindeer Double Date Cardigan by Tipsy Elves - Perhaps the meaning of 'ugly' here is 'vulgar', not 'Sh!t that hurts my eyes!' Everyone needs a little lovin'. Do not judge those reindeer. It's not like they live forever, I mean, do you really think that's the same Prancer and Dancer and Donner and Raphael the reindeer from stories of yore? Uh, no. I realize most of you think this is not fall-appropriate, but you have to consider that deer season approacheth, so it totally works.


2) Ugly Sweater - I actually like this one because it's honest. It's ugly and it knows it. It's not fancy or pretenious, it's functional and possibly comfortable. 'Nuff said. Tell the world, Ugly Sweater. You go, girl.


3) Vintage Hand Knitted Pastel Coloured Unisex Sweater - Um, it says it's parakeets, but I'm really questioning that diagnoses. At first I was thinking naked angels or something, but now I just feel confused. It does look warm though, I'll give it that. A real steal at $42.21.


4)
Ugly Sweater - Grandma's On Acid and Thinks The Golden Girls Came From The Planet of the Apes - Unfortunately (right?) this sweater is no longer available for purchase. Easy to see why, I mean, it's got a lot going for it. Soft flowing fur and a modest brown color. It's aptly named. I imagine the person who currently owns this gets a lot of compliments.

And the grand finale:
That which has been seen cannot be unseen.

5) Onepiece Original LW Onesie Kofte Festival - Because sweaters are not just for your top, they're for everywhere. Perfect for the unemployed, those with abandonment issues, or when it's just too much trouble to put on real pants. Please, I beg of you, go out in public in this thing so that you can become the object of my ridicule. BTW, it's on sale for 50% off right now, so get it before it's gone.

It's (finally) Friday. Go, be, do.

5 comments:

  1. Wow, you found some amazing fashion statements lol.

    I'm not a fan of sweater season, either. Give me 95 and sunny with a pool or a boat at hand.

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    1. Me too! I'd much rather my warmth came from the sun.

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  2. LOLOLOLOLOL, oh man, those are without a doubt some ugly-ass sweaters!

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    1. To be honest, I'd wear the hairy purple and brown one, just for the entertainment value.

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  3. I think number four takes the prize for the ugliest one. Number five looks like a sleep suit I had when I was four years old.

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