Tuesday, February 18, 2014

February is in League with the Devil

It seems like February is not a good month for me to blog. February in general is a waste of time to me because everything that could possibly go wrong always does. I hate November because people I love died in November, but February always seems like it's out to get me. I'm short...and contain evil forces with which you can never contend. Mwahahahahaha.

Danilo Rizzuti/Freedigitalphotos.com
Like, I don't have any nerves left, people. I'm done with nonsense and B.S. and even stuff that's not nonsense and B.S. The trouble starts with one thing--say the zipper broke in my favorite jacket, the one I planned to wear during the zombie apocalypse. I had to get a new coat. One that makes swishing sounds and will get me eaten within the first five minutes of zombie confrontation. It snowballs into my car is making a very, very bad noise when you turn it in either direction. Which snowballs into, guess what? The axle is broken and it needs to be replaced. Which snowballs into, guess what? The something something something is broken in the back wheels and the brakes don't work. Which snowballs into my husband has to drive me everywhere and he got a ticket for not having a back plate on his truck which is legal because of the type of plate he has, which snowballs into we drive around town trying to get the highway patrol to verify that, but he still has to go to court about it. Which snowballs into he now has a target on his back (I swear, if you get ONE ticket, the cops paint you with invisible paint and they ALL know to stop you), which snowballs into he got a speeding ticket this morning. Not to mention I'm trying to sign up for health care and...get this...no one can verify me. I've lived at the same place almost my entire life with the exception of when I was very little, when I went to college and had a P.O. box there, and a couple of months after I got married we lived somewhere else before moving home. Nope, no one can verify that I live at the address I live at. They want me to send lots of information that could effectively fall into the wrong hands and get my identity stolen. Not that it's a great identity. I mean, there are probably a lot of people that could do better with it than I can. Today, I can't even get into my account on their website. They keep insisting my password is wrong, I keep insisting it's right and even when I try to type in the hints, they tell me they're wrong. I'm pretty sure I know my favorite pet, my first supervisor's name and when my parents got married.

Sweet mother of all things shiny.

It's just like, what else can go wrong? The more I try to relax, the worse things become until I'm about to drop everything and hide under my quilt until everyone can assure me there's no more stress.

Deep breath.

Repairs are underway on the car and it's not even going to cost more than the price of whatever is needed to fix the something something something that broke in the back wheels, which is around $28. At least the zombie attracting jacket is warm. My husband shouldn't have been speeding, but we're still fighting the one about the back plate. Oh, that should be exciting. Thank God the court date isn't until April. The health care thing...I don't know how to fix that. Place my trust in the government and pray to God it all works out. Don't make me laugh, because I'll probably dissolve into tears.

For the rest of the month, can everything just run smoothly? Shh, no loud noises or sudden movements. You'll wake February and it will turn its wrath on me.

2 comments:

  1. Egads! I feel a lot better about my life now. Thanks! :D Hugs and kisses to you for a marvelous March!

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