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Heavy on the Nature

I'm still alive, in case you worried. I vanished because I was on vacation. That 8-letter word I haven't got to use in 7 years. Seriously.

We ventured up to Pomme De Terre State Park in Pittsburg, Mo for a five days, where we stayed in a yurt. An actual yurt, y'all. It was fantastic. I think they said it was about 16' in diameter, but it was big enough to sleep four people and a small, spoiled rotten dog. The first night, I conked out big-time, but the next couple of nights, I noticed the futon bed was kind of hard in places.

We swam, we walked, we ate delicious breakfasts and dinners. We had ice cream almost every day. It was heaven. Minus the sunburn, the giant spider in the skylight (see photo), and the scorpion that tried to murder PeeWee.

Yeah, the first night we were there, the husband and I were outside in the dark and I was surprised by a huge bug on the concrete in front of the yurt. I put the lantern down on the ground and dear sweet shiny Heaven above, scorpion! I had to step on it twice before it would die.

The night before we went home, we were sitting outside, admiring the stars when PeeWee suddenly jumps and runs into my chair. I picked him and when Mom looked, there was another scorpion--probably taking revenge for his brethren--near where PeeWee had been. We don't think it stung him, but it must have pinched him. He wiped at his nose and licked it a lot. He actually crawled onto my husband's lap to be held. He loves my husband, but he would rather sit with me any given day. We gave him Benadryl and he was fine the next morning.

Also, the first night, a red fox ran right into a "front yard". It just stood there, staring at us like we were morons. PeeWee was tied up and didn't even notice it--poster boy for not being a guard dog.

But that night, we were all laying in bed (not together. I mean, my husband and me were in bed together, but...jeez, this is complicated. There were three beds, okay?) and Mom shined her flashlight up to the skylight. "Oh my God, look at that spider."

I'm totally useless without my contacts, I will undoubtedly be one of the first to die when the zombie apocalypse hits because I can't see without eye aids, but when I looked up (a good fifteen feet above my head) there was this thing in the skylight. A freakin' spider about the size of a half-dollar.


All I could think was, don't sleep with your mouth open. If that thing crawled inside my mouth, it would have choked me to death. Toomuchnature. Toomuchnature. I named it Aragog, although I briefly considered Shelob. The next morning it had vanished... My husband killed it a day or two later.

Also, a fish bit my tattoo. I am not food, fish, just as you are not food to me.

Overall, it was wonderful. When we got back, my husband said, "You needed that. I haven't seen you look so happy or laugh like that in a long time."

I admit, it was nice to get away from the book stuff, the hustle and bustle of social media, and the real world problems. We're definitely going to have to go again, but we're bringing every kind of bug spray known to man next time.

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