Sunday, February 28, 2016

Exit, Persued by Bad Luck

Okay, so it's been a hell of a week.

Last Sunday, my uncle passed away. He was only in his 50's, which is young, but he'd been in poor health for a while. Death sucks, no matter what.

Next week, I'm changing jobs, which is waaay scary. And stressful. My feed and sleep have been off ever since making this choice. It'll be okay, of course, but my overactive brain likes to make me pretend it won't be. Shut it, brain.

Also, you may recall that Three Worlds Press closed. And then... $!#% me, if Samhain sent an email about closing. I first heard the news on my FB page and scrambled to my email on Friday afternoon. I was heartbroken. The masses are screaming, "oh, dear sweet and fluffy lord, what's going to happen to the Heckmasters!?!?". Okay, they probably aren't, but I loved, loved, loved working with everyone there. I loved how my editor loved my weird, wild Heckmasters.

I cried. It felt like someone passed away. And having already been to one memo rial service last week, my frame of mind was already set to, damn, I'm sad. 

I'll get the rights back, eventually, but it might be a while. It gives me time to figure out what the heck to do about covers and maybe retitling. It was a thought when I first signed the contract that we might retitle. I'll think about it.

Unfortunately, this news casts a shadow on the release day for Tell (The Heckmasters, Book 3). I wanted to have a big blog celebration for the release, but the last month, I was kind of dragging my heels. I arranged some promo. I could call this sense of hesitation a glimpse of the bad news to come, but really, I just didn't get as much done as I should have. I'm deeply saddened by the loss of a wonderful publisher and the crew who helped me put Tell--and all the Heckmasters--between covers.

I cried and moped like crazy Friday night. I wanted to go to bed and never get out of it. I drank virtual whiskey in a chat room with my fellow pub-sibs and told myself I would get through this, just like I have each time a publisher shut down. Like many of my pub-sibs said, Samhain seemed like an unattainable dream when I first started writing. I didn't think I was good enough for such an awesome company. Being chosen by my editor was a shining moment in my writing career. It gave me much more confidence in myself and my skills as a writer. Losing them feels like someone ripped off a body part.

I will mope. I will sigh. But in the end, I will rise. If I'm going to stay strong in the writing world, I don't have a choice.

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